PLOT

Jeff takes a drive one night and almost hits a gorgeous girl walking beside the road. He gives her a ride and makes plans to see her again, though she says some odd things like referring to a local bar by a name that was used before his grandma’s time. Mary shows up for their date, but there’s still something off about her. When his friends start dying in cruel ways, he realizes that Mary may be responsible and that his grandma knows the true story. He has to discover the truth before the cops arrest him for the crimes.

TRIVIA

Based on the Chicago urban legend/ghost story of the same name.

THOUGHTS

I thought Resurrection Mary was a well made movie, considering that it had such a low budget. It’s not your typical slasher type movie, but it does have some gory scenes. The movie works on building suspense and letting you learn more about the characters, fleshing them out instead of relying on stereotypes. It does stray from the original legend a little too much at times, but that didn’t bother me as much as it seemed to bother some others.

PLOT

Ronnie Reno was a big deal child star, playing the role of Blue on a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers type show. As an adult, he can’t catch a break and can’t get anyone to take him seriously. After his turned down yet again for a job, he goes on a drive and ends up stranded in a small town, run by drug dealers. The dealers plan on killing him, but he gets his old group of TV buddies to make the drive and put the old gang in action.

TRIVIA

Stars Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit.

THOUGHTS

I only watched this movie because I bought it in a two-pack at Wal-Mart for $5 and the main movie looked interesting; this one was kind of shoved in as a special feature. I honestly have no idea how this movie got made or why it was done so badly. Did Chris Klein and Fred Durst lose a bet or something? It also has some other fairly recognizable supporting characters, who seem like they’re taking things too seriously. I know it had a low budget, but that’s no excuse for this movie.

PLOT

Alan loved running and almost any sport, until he was hit by a truck and paralyzed from the waist down. His girlfriend leaves him for his doctor (played by Stanley Tucci in an early role), his mother (Joyce Van Patten) won’t leave him alone and he hates his life. After he attempts suicide, his best friend Jeff decides to help him by getting him a trained monkey. The trainer Melanie doesn’t have any available so Jeff donates one from the lab where he’s experimenting on the animals. Ella becomes Alan’s best friend, but as her drugs take effect, she grows jealous. She eventually starts to kill off everyone close to him, so she can keep him for herself.

TRIVIA

Based on the book Monkey Shines and directed by horror movie icon George Romero.

THOUGHTS

I really love Monkey Shines. My brother let me watch it when I was a kid and I fully blame him for making me fear those stupid monkey toys for years to come. It hasn’t kept up that well in terms of technology, especially when it comes to the wheelchair he uses, but it’s damn good. I fear that this will end up being remade and star a CGI monkey instead of the real thing. It’s also a little sad at times and it’s funny because you end up feeling bad for the monkey sometimes.

PLOT

Nice girl Julie, working class Ray, beauty queen Helen and jock Barry hit the party scene before they plan on leaving town for college. Barry drinks too much and Ray agrees to drive, but gets distracted and hits someone on the way home. The group agrees to hide the body and pretend it never happened, with Julie being the only one who seemingly has a conscious. She goes away to college and at the end of the school year, gets a note saying I Know What You Did Last Summer. She heads home, telling everyone what happened, but no one listens…until the killer in a rain coat comes calling.

TRIVIA

Based on a book by Lois Duncan of the same name and written by Kevin Williamson, who also wrote Scream.

THOUGHTS

I Know What You Did Last Summer is one of those horror movies that came out right when horror movies were coming back into the mainstream. It was fun to pick on it and claim to hate it, but it made an ass-load of money for something that no one liked and did inspire a few sequels. It’s not the greatest movie in the world, but it’s a lot better than some of the crap made later. Compared to other movies starring the pretty teen TV actors, this is like Shakespeare.

PLOT

Kevin and Tiffany head to a New Year’s Eve party, where Kevin passes her an acid laced drink. After finding her with another guy, he grabs her and drags her off. The car crashes on the road and they wander into the woods, thinking that someone is following them. Kevin manages to use her cell phone to call the dispatcher at the police station and let her know what happened. Officers go out, only to find the car sitting on the side of the road, with the engine running and the doors opened. As the two stray further into the woods, they start seeing things and don’t know what’s real and what’s in their head.

TRIVIA

Also known as Lost Signal.

Based on a true story of two people who disappeared in the woods, after doing acid at a friend’s party. The two were eventually found dead.

THOUGHTS

I didn’t know what to expect because the movie was really low budget and I got it pretty cheap. I ended up being a little surprised because it was better than I thought. The supporting cast are the ones to watch, they have some great acting talent scattered in there. Too bad the same can’t be said for the two leads. At times I actually wanted to throttle them for their poor acting, which brought down some of their scenes. It also had an ending that seemed a little tacked on, as if the writer decided that a happy ending wasn’t enough, so he had to toss in another “twist” that didn’t really fit with the rest of the movie.

PLOT

John Russell loses his wife and daughter in a car crash and moves to a new town, taking a new job and hoping to put that all behind him. One of the workers for the historical society offers him a great deal (I wish I had a deal like this!) on a rental property they own because no one else wants it. Weird things start happening that seem like a typical poltergeist. Russell learns that a young boy was murdered in the house and has ties to a wealthy local family, who’s other son is now a senator.

TRIVIA

Russell Hunter, who wrote the screenplay claims that he based it on actual events that happened to him. He says that the same odd things happened to him in a house he rented in Denver and that the poltergeist went with him when he moved.

THOUGHTS

I have to admit that I’ve never seen The Changeling before, but I couldn’t resist it when I saw it for around $3. Now I’m shocked that I waited so long because this movie is really good. I wish modern day directors could pick up some old tips and learn how to make a suspenseful ghost story that doesn’t rely on “shocks”. That said, there are some parts of the movie that aren’t so great and it gets a little slow at times. It also has some age and it doesn’t hold up that great to the years, but it’s still a damn good movie.

PLOT

Caroline is somehow related to Annie in the last movie and a truly terrible actress. Then again, did anyone from “Baywatch” really know how to act? She’s also related to Candyman and for some reason, he wants her dead so she’ll end up beside him forever. Of course he goes on a killing spree, getting everyone who’s close to her and making the cops think that she’s somehow responsible.

TRIVIA

Supposedly another Candyman movie with Tony Todd and Melissa Joan Hart will be filmed later this year.

THOUGHTS

I think my lack of a real plot description shows that I really didn’t give a crap about this movie. I watched it, I forgot about it; it’s as simple as that. The movie suffers from a low budget, horrible acting and forgettable death scenes. How many times do we need to see Candyman drag his hook across someone’s neck or stomach before it gets old? Apparently this one was more than enough for me.

PLOT

Matilda Dixon was an older lady who lived in the town of Darkness Falls. The local kids called her tooth fairy because she rewarded them each time they lost a tooth. The town parents blamed her for the disappearance of two kids and went after her. She always wore a mask because her face was burned and she was so pissed when they tore it off, that she swore vengeance. Local legend says that she comes for kids who lose their teeth. The movie then jumps to Kyle, a loaner who secretly crushes on his neighbor Caitlin. He sees the tooth fairy and she kills his mom, but no one believes him and the cops sent him to a mental hospital. He returns years later when Caitlin appears, needing help with her younger brother who’s scared of the dark because of what he sees in it.

TRIVIA

I remember hearing that the makers of The Tooth Fairy sued the makers of Darkness Falls for stealing their idea, but I couldn’t find anything about it online. If anyone knows, send me a link.

Both stars of the movie (Emma Caufield and Chaney Kley) appeared on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, though at different times.

THOUGHTS

It wasn’t until I started writing the plot outline that I realized just how ridiculous this movie is at times. That’s sad because I was all set to complain about people hating it for no good reason, except that it’s yet another PG-13 rated horror movie. The story of Dixon took up most of the plotline, but that story is told in the opening few scenes. I think Darkness Falls is one of my guilty pleasure movies because I know that it’s not very good and that a lot of people hate it, but I still kind of like it. This was probably the fifth time I’ve seen it!

Snakes…on a submarine.

PLOT

Luke Perry is a Navy officer that’s almost ready to retire and spend the rest of his many years with his young daughter. He’s called upon to pick up a scientist and an assistant who are working on a top secret project on an island in the middle of nowhere. Cut to Krista Allen as the scientist, who’s actually working on breeding several types of snakes to create a massive hybrid snake. Her assistant cunningly sneaks several specimens back onto the submarine, where of course they get loose. Allen offers up the anti-venom, but when it fails to work, the crew must locate all the snakes. Um and they’re being chased by the Chinese military for veering into their waters…

TRIVIA

Krista Allen previously starred in Feast.

THOUGHTS

I knew exactly how to explain this movie to my friends: It’s snakes…on a submarine…with Luke Perry. Suddenly my Facebook page was a hubbub of activity, as people came out of the woodwork wanting to know what it was called and where it came from. I have no doubt that Wal-Mart saw their inventory of Silent Venom drop by several copies. Silent Venom is one of those movies that you have to watch with friends because it’s nearly impossible to sit through alone. When you do watch it with your friends, I guarantee that you’ll have a good time.

PLOT

A group of girls decide to play a prank on one of their boyfriends because he’s cheating and as they say, you cheat on one Theta, you cheat on all Thetas. They give him something they say if roofies, he puts in her drink and she “dies”. The five girls and Garret the boyfriend, head out to an abandoned mine, where they make him think that she’s really dead. He freaks out and actually kills her, but they agree to cover the whole thing up. The movie then jumps to the end of the school year, where Cassidy, the only girl who wanted to call the cops, comes to their last party, though she spent the whole year ignoring them. Someone starts sending the girls weird texts and then makes it clear that someone hasn’t forgot what happened and that someone is going to make them pay.

TRIVIA

A kind of remake of The Last House on Sorority Row.

Plans were originally in place for a sequel, but no news yet on that.

THOUGHTS

I’m honestly not sure why so many people ragged on this movie and seemed to hate it so much. I actually kind of liked it, but then again, I have yet to see the original, which might explain things. I’m not some obsessive fan who thinks classic movies should be left alone because I know that some movies need a little updating. Sorority Row has some fairly inventive killings, including the alcoholic sister killed by a bottle shoved all the way down her throat. It’s not something that you see all the time. Personally I think it’s fun in kind of a good, cheesy way.